5 Longevity Lessons from My 94-Year-Old Uncle

This summer, my family traveled to San Francisco to visit my Uncle Charles, my father's brother. He is 94 years old, sharp as ever, and still, in his own words, "a student." Since losing both of my parents, time with family who don't live nearby has taken on a different kind of weight. So this visit was more than a nice trip. It was a chance to sit with someone who has lived nearly a century and ask him, plainly, what he thinks makes a life long, healthy and meaningful.

His answers didn't add up to one magic formula. They added up to something better: a lifetime of small, deliberate choices. Here are five of them.

1. Let compassion guide your choices, not just health

Uncle Charles has been vegan for decades, and most people assume it started as a health decision. It didn't. As a teenager, he walked through a slaughterhouse his brother in law ran and heard the animals in distress before they were killed. That sound stayed with him, and it changed the direction of his life. He still believes his diet has supported his health over the years, but for him, food was never only about the body. It was about compassion, and about not looking away from suffering he could do something about.

The lesson here isn't necessarily "go vegan." It's this: the healthiest choices are often the ones rooted in something bigger than ourselves. When a habit is tied to a value you actually care about, it tends to stick.

2. Move in a way that respects where your body is now

Uncle Charles used to run 5 to 7 miles a day. When his knees stopped cooperating, he didn't force it or grieve the loss for long. He adapted. These days, he starts his mornings with slow, tai chi-like movements, paying attention to how his back, arms, and legs feel and moving with them instead of against them.

This is a principle I teach in every yoga class I lead. Strength isn't about pushing through pain. It's about listening closely enough to know the difference between challenge and harm, and adjusting your practice as your body changes across seasons of life.

3. Learn to listen to your body, even if it takes a while

When I asked Uncle Charles for the single best piece of health advice he's learned, he didn't hesitate: listen to your body. He came to that lesson the hard way, through digestive issues, injuries, and back pain over the years. Now he tries not to do anything that unnecessarily harms his body, and he pays attention early instead of pushing through discomfort until it becomes a real problem.

It's simple advice, but simple isn't the same as easy. Most of us are trained to override our body's signals rather than trust them. Uncle Charles's version of longevity isn't about willpower. It's about attentiveness.

4. Care deeply, but don't carry every burden in your body

Uncle Charles has a dry sense of humor and a genuinely laid back way about him, so I asked how he stays so positive. His answer surprised me: "Life shouldn't be taken so seriously." But he was quick to add that this doesn't mean he doesn't care. He spoke with real emotion about the suffering he sees in the world. He simply doesn't let that caring settle permanently into his body.

That distinction matters. You can hold compassion for the world without letting every hard thing live in your shoulders, your jaw, your sleep. Caring deeply and carrying everything are not the same practice, and separating them may be part of what has kept him going this long.

5. Stay a student, always

Uncle Charles was one of the first rabbis to perform interfaith marriages, at a time when that wasn't the norm. He later became a marriage and family counselor, a path he says started in his mother's beauty salon, where he first learned to counsel people simply by listening to their stories. Even now, at 94, he told me, "I still have learning to do, and that excites me. I'll always be a student."

There's something protective about staying curious. People who keep learning tend to keep engaging with the world, and engagement itself seems to be part of what keeps us vital as we age.

The thread that ties it together

When I asked Uncle Charles what one piece of advice he'd leave readers with, he didn't talk about diet or exercise at all. He talked about love. Love for all of life, from the smallest creatures to every human being. He talked about forgiveness, and how holding onto grudges only eats away at the person holding them. In his words, love heals both the person receiving it and the person giving it.

I don't think that's a coincidence. Every other lesson, the diet, the movement, the listening, the lightness, the curiosity, seems to circle back to that same center. Longevity isn't just about the choices we make for our bodies. It's about the way we choose to love and be loved along the way.

This month's practice: pick just one of these five lessons and live with it for a few weeks. Move a little more gently. Listen to your body before it has to shout. Stay curious about something new. Or simply forgive something you've been holding onto. See what changes.